How can you re-start your life?

I was recently asked this question: 

“I am 38 , healthy , male and single .  It seems to me that each day is exactly the same as the one before it .   The excitement and hope i had when i was 28 has melted away .   But i am definite that if i can recapture the enthusiasm I will feel better .  It does not matter if i actually achieve my dreams but i want to dream as i did previously”

 

Here is my answer:

I’m 61 years old; during the past 10-years i lost $3M American and have become bankrupt. I’m bipolar and I’ve lost all of my friends.

I’m restarting my life with the following method: IPSRT (Interpersonal Social Rhythm Therapy).  It’s a method used for Bipolar sufferers to help them regulate their moods.  It was developed by Ellen Frank, PhD, professor of psychiatry and psychology at the Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, University of Pittsburgh.

1. wake every day at the same time; early in the morning (mood stability)
2. exercise for 30-60 minutes (exercise increases Serotonin and combats depression).
3. eat healthy meals (keep your weight under control; helps mood stability).
4. focus on those whom I love and take care of them (helps me have compassion and empathy).
5. focus on my work; whatever it is; do a great job (helps to stimulate self-worth)
6. contact at least 1 old friend every day and make a date to meet them; if you’ve lost all your friends, contact an old friend and try to re-connect (socialization instead of isolation)
7. find something you like to do (read, walk, play music; whatever) and do it every day (re-start living instead of surviving)
8. pick an achievable, reasonable, goal. Figure out the steps to achieve that goal and start, today, with step 1. This doesn’t have to be a “great lifetime goal”. This can be a simple goal, such as “walk a mile” (contributes to feelings of self-worth).
9. clean your home every morning and neaten it every night before you go to sleep (self-worth).
10. set personal boundaries for yourself; if someone in your family or in your circle of friends crosses those boundaries, make sure you protect yourself with “when you do A, it makes me feel B because C; please don’t do A” (self-worth).
11. go to sleep every night at the same time (such regularity keeps my moods more stable).

I also use DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), a method started by Dr. Marsha Linehan, Professor, Department of Psychology, University of Washington.   DBT combines standard cognitive-behavioral techniques for emotion regulation and reality-testing with concepts of mindful awareness, distress tolerance, and acceptance largely derived from Buddhist meditative practice.

I also chart my moods using (www.moodchart.org).  MoodChart is a research study designed to help people with bipolar disorder gain better control over their illnesses. This site was developed by two psychiatrists at George Washington University, Daniel Lieberman, MD, and Frederick Goodwin, MD.  From the site:  “Who you are, what you do, and the medications you take all influence the stability of your moods. A mood chart pulls together all these factors into one picture. This site will help you build your own chart, and then show you how to do daily charting with a single click.”

More on meds soon.